rated pg-13 or a light r for swearing.
spoilers through 2.04.
another au of sorts. a sequel to careful.
Simon tries to focus, to calm, to turn invisible. But he can't. He's panicking too much. There's a gun pointed at him and he can't turn invisible. He doesn't know what to say. It's only when he opens his mouth to draw breath that he becomes aware that he's crying as he backs up against the wall, and then, suddenly, a masked figured has dropped from the skylight and is stood in front of him.
a/n: this is kind of fluffy/angsty/pointless. not that great but it popped into my head.
Simon isn't going to do anything other than what he's told. He looks desperately at Nathan, struggling against his chains, at Curtis with the wild panic in his eyes, at Kelly, at Alisha with her eyes shut, at Nikki with plain fear on her tight face, and he yells at them, "I'll come back for you!" and turns on his heel and sprints like mad from Tim. He breaks through the plastic warehouse curtains, but he can't run forever. It's a dead end far too soon and Simon turns to find Tim stood right in front of him.
The gun is raised. Simon tries to focus, to calm, to turn invisible. But he can't. He's panicking too much. There's a gun pointed at him and he can't turn invisible. He doesn't know what to say. It's only when he opens his mouth to draw breath that he becomes aware that he's crying as he backs up against the wall, and then, suddenly, a masked figured has dropped from the skylight and is stood in front of him.
But Tim's already pulled the trigger and the masked man is stumbling backwards and Tim is gone, and Simon has got the man in his arms on the ground and he knows who it is already, he's been too close for comfort with him, but he doesn't want it to be him.
"Simon," he gasps and tears his older self's mask off. His older self looks pained, but surprisingly composed, and Simon begs, "What do I do? How do I save you? This can't be how I'm going to die. I don't want to watch you die. You're - you're me - "
"I know it's scary," older Simon mumbles, and Simon swallows his words in order to listen. "I saw it too, remember?" His words are jagged and half-formed, and Simon presses his hand on the wound to try and stem the flow. "You have to take care of Nathan," Simon suddenly says, with an alive sense of urgency, "You have to be careful now. You - "
"You're dying and you're telling me to be careful," Simon whispers, and his older self laughs and chokes on it. He lifts his fingers from the other Simon's chest and holds back a sob at the sight and feel of the warm blood, and he presses his hand back in place when his future self makes a frightening gurgling noise.
"The future ends here," Simon murmurs, the life in his voice fading again, his eyes fluttering closed. "But it gets good from here. I promise. Just got to be..."
"Careful," Simon finishes. His older self nods and looks at the side of the room. Simon looks at it and frowns. It's a can of petrol.
"There are matches in my pocket." It comes together. Simon needs to burn the body. He understands, but he doesn't want to do it. He doesn't want to set himself on fire. He doesn't want to watch himself die. He doesn't like the knowledge that this is how his life is going to end.
You're not supposed to know the future. No one is. That's how life is. Everything, planned or not, has to come as a surprise. If you know how the system works then everything could fall apart if you change it. Rewind and redo, like Curtis does, that's fine. But prior knowledge is different.
"I don't want to die like this," Simon whispers.
"Let me know when you work out how to change the future when it's already the past," his older self mumbles, and his eyes slip closed for good. Simon shuts his own eyes and just cradles the body, fingers still pressed desperately into the shot wound. When he realises he can hear the shouts and yells of his friends he comes to his senses and slowly lays the body down on the floor, holding back all the tears he knows that he can't shed right now.
He stares at the blood on his hand, his own blood, and hastily wipes it on his pants. He replaces the mask over the slowly cooling face, and fishes in his pockets for the matches. He makes a quick job of it, dousing his own corpse in petrol and spilling extra on the floor. He strikes a match and watches his body go up in flames.
And then he turns and walks away from his future and back to the present.
"You took your time," Nathan snarks immediately when Simon walks back into the room they're hung up in. Simon just glares at him and Nathan, irritating as usual, just presses, "Who's blood is that?"
Simon shuts his eyes and ignores him for a minute as he lowers the five of them from the meat hooks and eventually says, "It's that masked guy. It's his blood. He saved me."
He helps them get off the hooks and once they're all free, Nikki vanishes with Curtis trailing after her. Alisha casts them a slightly disgusted look and then asks, rubbing her wrists, "Is that masked guy okay?"
Simon swallows and gets the remaining shackle off his own wrist and rubs it, then rubs his palm across his forehead and says, "He left. He's fine." Nathan is strangely quiet all of a sudden, and he stares across the warehouse, and then looks at Simon with a frown. Simon shrugs and looks away and says, "Can we get out of here?"
Alisha nods and digs her car keys from her pocket and leads the way. Simon just stares at his feet the entire time as they walk out, ignoring Kelly and Alisha as they just get back to every day life. Alisha says something about Curtis being a wanker for chasing after that girl, Kelly vividly agrees with her then bitches about her cut nose and the "ugly fookin' wedding dress".
The girls take the front seat in the car and Simon and Nathan quietly slide onto the back seat. Nobody comments on how quiet Simon is because that's just him, but no one comments on how quiet Nathan is either. Simon glances at him curiously though, and Nathan just makes a face as Alisha drives off, but as the radio is turned on and Nathan begins to join in (more interject and annoy Kelly) with the girls' conversation, the lanky Irish boy slips his hand into Simon's.
Simon frowns at it and then again at Nathan, but he just receives a funny look that says what? it's not a big deal.
Nathan walks level with him as they re-enter the community center. Simon goes to follow the girls to the locker room so he can get changed, but Nathan snags his arm and drags him up to his makeshift bedroom and pulls him into an awkward embrace. Simon stands there unreceptive at first but Nathan eventually mumbles, "Twat. I saw his ghost. Your ghost."
Simon squeezes his eyes shut and flings his arms around Nathan's middle. "He just jumped down in front of me and got shot. I don't want to die like that, I - he made me burn him after he died - " He cuts himself off, unwilling to think about it, and shoves Nathan away from him. "What could be so good about my life from this point that I'm okay with dying in a few years?" He asks desperately.
Nathan shrugs and sticks out his bottom lip, rubbing his arm. Simon stares at him for a minute and then, unthinking, hauls himself over to Nathan and kisses him, with a fist bundled into Nathan's shirt and the other in his hair. Nathan kisses back, almost reluctant to let go when Simon pulls away, and questions with his hands haughtily on his hips, "And what was that about?"
"Nothing," Simon says, and he lets himself smile a little bit. "I just think I've figured out what's going to be good." The person his future self told him to love. The person his future self needed him to take care of. To be careful with. Simon's immortal boyfriend.
Nathan raises his eyebrows, interested. "Really?"
"Yes," Simon confirms, and smiles again as he starts to go towards the stairs.
"Where are you going?"
"To get changed."
"Aren't you going to tell me about the future?" Nathan whines, leaning over the barrier as Simon walks away towards the locker room.
"I can't reveal the future," Simon tells Nathan, looking back over his shouler for a moment to see Nathan scowling something fierce. He smiles and looks down at his feet. This is going to be his future now. He has to live for the present and what is to come soon, rather than look so far forward. He has to live in the now with the ticked-off Irish boy.
"Are you sure about which one of you died? Because you're sounding a lot like Mr Mysterious Twat!"